Pregnancy ‘a gift’ from angel Alisha
Friday, July 01, 2016
AN EXPECTANT mother said the pregnancy is a ‘gift from Heaven’, following the death of her little girl to cancer a year ago.
Michelle and John Savage along with daughter Emma Louise and daughter Alisha that died in 2015.
John and Michelle Savage, that are expecting a Brand-new baby in November, lost their beautiful, four-year-old daughter, Alisha, in 2015.
She died in Boston, where they had moved in search of a cure for her rare brain tumour.
The pair are no strangers to heartbreak, having lost their very first child, Christopher, to stillbirth a number of years ago.
Michelle said that despite all the pain, they still feel lucky to have actually Alisha watching over and guiding them through their lives. Their three-year-old daughter, Emma Louise, has actually been a huge comfort during a dark period.
“I called Emma Louise my little angel one day, yet she immediately corrected me,” Michelle said. “She told me that she wasn’t my angel and that Alisha was the one that is my angel in Heaven. That made me smile, because it showed me simply how much she had already worked out, despite being so little.”
John and Michelle recently moved spine in to their family Estate in Glanmire, where Alisha spent much of her short life.
“simply a few days after her diagnosis, I said that if anything ever happened to her I would certainly never have the ability to face going spine home,” Michelle said.
“I was nervous about returning and was convinced I’d have actually an anxiety attack, yet once I opened the front door, all the beautiful memories of Alisha simply flooded out.”
Michelle emphasised the importance of staying positive for her children.
“Once you have actually a child, you can’t simply collapse in tears in the hallway. It’s additionally fairly essential not to carry around negative energy, while there’s a baby inside of you. Coming spine to a Brand-new house, and now a Brand-new baby, was simply how Alisha wanted it. She always has actually various other plans for us and is still fairly much in control of our lives.”
Michelle admitted that worry about exactly what might happen next can easily often be overwhelming.
“For a while, there was a portion of me that honestly believed she might return some day,” she said. “It took a long time prior to the realisation hit me that this wasn’t going to happen. You’re never the same after losing a child, and no matter where you go the grief will certainly always be there to follow you around.
“There’s always that fear that something will certainly happen to somebody you love. John now has actually to take Emma Louise to the doctor. Having been through so much, I’m always fearful of these places and the next thing that might go wrong.”
The pregnancy has actually elicited a melting pot of emotions for Michelle.
“Once you’re pregnant after losing a child it conjures up every emotion on the planet you could believe of. A lot of the time my happiness is tinged along with guilt, because Alisha isn’t here to experience this along with us.
“It’s really difficult, at this time, not having her there along with us in a physical sense. We know she’s there spiritually, yet it’s not always the same.”
Michelle and John are certain Emma Louise will certainly be simply as good a big sister as Alisha was to her.
“Once Emma Louise was born, Alisha was really too small to even understand exactly what was going on. I can easily remember how she looked at her in awe, as if she was a little doll that had come to life. I believe she was a little put-out, at first, because she wasn’t getting as much attention.
“I think, on some level, she knew she was on borrowed time and wanted to spend as much time along with me as possible.
“She eventually came round to the suggestion of being a big sister and wanted to learn how to insight along with everything, including changing nappies.”
Knowing that Alisha is now free from pain serves as a comfort to her parents.
“I have actually to remember that she would certainly not have actually been happy growing up, no longer able to walk or talk. Now, she is free in Heaven and can easily simply tune in, and out, to watch over us whenever she pleases. We don’t expect a baby to fill the hole left in our lives after losing a child, yet we are so happy to have actually this gift from Alisha, to bring out the happiness in all of us. We want this baby to grow up knowing that she had yet another big sister. Alisha’s toys are still scattered around the house, so there are still traces of memories all around us.”
Filed under: alisha savage
By Sarah Horgan
Email Journalist
Contact Journalist: 021 4802379
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